As you may have guessed, there's a few key differences between IKEAs in the United States and the ones in Europe. I recently had the opportunity to visit a location on the outskirts of Amsterdam.

In addition to the incredibly cheap Bavarian brand lager in the cafe, I spotted something else...


...something at least 10 - 25% more sinister....


...something that would never fly at the IKEA out by the Portland Airport.

That's right, calf-skin rugs. What you see here is an entire bin full of them. 50 or so, by my estimate. That's a lot of dead baby cows, all right.

IKEA calls them koldbys. At first, I figured they must be fakes but, as the tag explains, they're the real deal, right down to the branding marks and other imperfections.

UPDATE: I stand corrected. The PDX location not only has koldbys in stock, it has *89* of them.

Labels: anipals, travels

I spent Thanksgiving with a pack of soggy reindeer. This was my second holiday at the Timberview Farm east of Springfield, which is owned by my sister's boyfriend's parents. It was raining when we left Portland around 11 and it was still raining when we got back to town.

I was hoping to take several cheery photos of the farm's herd like I did last year. Here's the thing though: reindeer aren't big on rain. Rather than trotting around merrily, they were all huddled in their pen, gloomily gazing out at the storm. Can reindeer sigh? Maybe, but all I heard was the occasional grunt.

I was thinking to myself a few minutes ago, "What could make these photos even less Christmas-y?" The answer was obvious: use Photoshop to convert them to black and white. Ta-da!

Timberview's reindeer are show animals and they spend the month of December making appearances at shopping centers and other locations throughout the state. They'll be at Beaverton Town Square this Sunday, December 13th, from 10 - 5. Two of the more common questions their owners are asked at these events:

Q: Do reindeer really exist?

Many people remain convinced that these guys are actually caribou and that reindeer are fictional. I'm still confused, myself. As Wikipedia would have it, "caribou" is a term that only applies to wild reindeer found in North America.

Q: What do they eat?

The answer...

Labels: anipals

Last Friday was my last day of employment at a company located on the Tektronix campus in Beaverton. I'll miss a lot of things about the gig- chatting with coworkers, a daily sense of accomplishment beyond folding laundry and catching up on Achewood and, of course, a regular paycheck. But, most of all, I'll miss the geese.

Every fall, several flocks of Canadian geese descend upon the campus and turn it into their daily stomping grounds. They hang around through the winter, killing time until they return north in the spring. Many employees consider them pests but I've always secretly enjoyed their bad behavior.

The geese have no fear of humans and hiss if you get too close to them. They spend the off-season chewing up the lawns, floating around in the fountain outside the campus Starbucks and they live to cover the soccer field in green doodie. Often, the geese gather together in large groups to block auto traffic during rush hour and sometimes, when the mood strikes, follow the suggestion included in a certain Beatles' song on The White Album.

You know the one.

They're the feathered Tyler Durdens of the Tektronix campus, doing what they can to interrupt up the workings of an otherwise boring business park. It'll be hard for me to forget a foggy night last winter when, in a rush to meet up with friends, a flock of geese camped out in the middle of a dark street nearly caused me to drive my car onto a lawn and into a picnic table. Or all the mornings during the spring when I had to patiently wait as they marched their goslings from the campus to a stream near the MAX stop. Trying to pass groups of geese on the campus' walkways during my lunch break without them hissing at me became a daily game I often lost.

And there was also the time two of them jumped up onto the cab of a Tektronix employees' brand new, supped-up truck and covered it in poop, perhaps to protest its lousy gas mileage and poor emissions standards.

Yes, the Tektonix geese are surly little brats with dispositions usually reserved for bored teenagers that spend most of their time camped out in front of Plaid Pantries. Wherever I wind up in the coming months, it is my sincere hope there will be geese. They keep things interesting.

Labels: anipals

I wouldn't have thought so if I hadn't seen six bags of the stuff sitting in the middle of the Burlingame Fred Meyer. Disney's Old Yeller Dog Food, because nothing says quality eats for your pooch like a 52 year-old film about a beloved family pet succumbing to the effects of rabies.

Some future Disney tie-ins I'd like to suggest here: Finding Nemo Tackle Boxes, Bambi's Mother Venison, Wicked Witch Brand Juice Boxes and Mulan's Shanghai Chicken McNuggets.

Oh wait, that last one actually existed.

Labels: anipals

It's nice to see that the Oregon Zoo has its own take on Groundhog Day, which I just found out about. Using an African hedgehog, the zoo offers a second opinion on the annual tradition of using small mammals to predict the weather Too bad the little bugger has been wrong three out of the past four years. For 2009 she predicted that Portland is in for another six weeks of winter. Based on today's temperatures it may as well be late April out there.

Labels: anipals, the weather

Who doesn't enjoy You Tube videos of baby elephants romping in the snow?

Ok, maybe not the tigers that kick-off this video of various animals at the Oregon Zoo contending with Portland's never-ending snow and ice apocalypse. It looks like those big kitties are having some domestic troubles. Maybe the cheetahs can provide couples counseling when they move in next year?

The elephants show up at the 2:30 mark in the video. Samudra breaks out a can of uber-cuteness around 3 minutes in.

Photos and further adorable anecdotes can be found over on KATU's website.

Labels: anipals

I'm divided on the whole "zoo thing." Majestic wild animals, sometimes kept in cramped, psychologically-damaging conditions, don't quite trump my desire to look at them up close. It might have something to do with a week-long protest I witnessed back in college where an undergrad locked herself inside a cage on a lawn across from the administration building to draw attention to the plight of the country's "incarcerated tiger population."

Ok, I'm lying. I thought that was hilarious. Zoos make me nervous because all the cages remind me of where I have to spend forty or more hours a week.

But the one/two combo of real, live beasts from faraway lands and unbridled cuteness outweighed my reservations during a day-off from work yesterday. I went to see the new addition to the Asian elephant exhibit at the Oregon Zoo.

(shut-up nagging, uber-liberal conscience)

Awwwwwwwww!

The dim lighting inside the viewing area really messed with my camera, thus the decision to go with black and white.

For those who haven't witnessed the constant local news coverage, this little guy, who will be officially named tomorrow, was born three weeks ago.

A few factoids about elephant calves I didn't know until 3 PM yesterday:

They're supposedly born without eyelids, thus explaining why the calf has a constant dazed expression usually reserved for hungover, insomniac air traffic controllers.

Three week-old baby elephants weigh 325 pounds. Or at least this one did as of yesterday. He's put on 39 pounds since his birthday.

The enclosure where mother and calf are being viewed by the public had to be "baby-proofed."

The fourteen year-old Rose-Tu is the calf's mother, making her in human years a teenage mother. Sarah Palin would no doubt approve before jumping into a plane to shoot at both mother and son. See, I told you this wasn't a GOP endorsement.

While I was in there Rose-Tu yanked on the bars a bit and her calf soon followed suit after she lost interest. I can only assume that they're plotting their escape. Once the baby is old enough, I bet they're going to make a break for it and write a tell-all about their time in that cell. After all, if you lived in an enclosure with several dozen ton roommates who poop all over the place, wouldn't you hit the road?

And here's a color photo of a sleeping tiger who was probably glad all the zoo's visitors were hanging around the elephant exhibit.

Tiger: "That undergrad can cram it. This soooo beats hustling in the backwoods of Thailand. Zzzzzzz."

Until they show up on the Today Show to promote that book, here's a sideways You Tube video of the little guy bein' all adorable and workin' his mojo for the crowd. Not having a video editor on my laptop really messes with my ability to post right-side-up clips.

Labels: anipals

More stuff from the zoo, including a video of an otter cleaning his face for what seems like three straight hours.

Labels: anipals, Portland

My younger sister and I made a trip to the Oregon Zoo in years last Sunday. A relatively new area devoted to animals from the NW was impressive but many other exhibits are looking pretty shabby these days.

In particular, the penguin building, could use some work. The inside smells like a hundred outhouses and the interior doesn't look like it's been painted or updated since the mid-60s. The African area, which was incredibly impressive when it first opened in the early '90s, is starting to look its age. A walk-through exhibit devoted to exotic birds was nearly empty. Most disappointing was the elephant pen, a crown jewel of the zoo since the day Packy, the first elephant born in the Western Hemisphere in nearly half a century, made his world debut. We only spotted one elephant in the pen's three areas. Where do the others hang out on busy weekends? The zoo is still home to several elephants, right?

All this would be easier to take if it weren't for a display we spotted near the tiger pen. Administrators are currently hunting down donations and funding to open a new wing and bring lions back to the zoo. This is all good and well but how about dumping some funds into updating existing exhibits? Don't give the penguins the shaft, guys.

But ignoring current infrastructure while pumping cash into newer projects seems to be the m.o. of local and national government these days, no? Anyway, here are some photos of the still impressive areas of the zoo:

Labels: anipals, Portland

A scene from Saturday night:

From the second floor of the Smart Park garage on SW 10th it sounded like a belated Mardi Gras party. Woo-hoos, shouting, party favors and laughter. Down at street level I discovered the source: ten or so protesters, some of them dressed up like cheerleaders, celebrating the demise of Schumacher Furs. Last week the owners announced that they were closing up shop for good after failing to find a new location. As I headed down the street they were busy ridiculing someone inside who looked desperate to lock up and get out of there for the night.

Admittedly, the protests made me uneasy from day one but gleefully celebrating the closure of a 112-year old, locally owned, family-run business makes my stomach churn. Am I a proud supporter of the fur industry? Hardly. Do I think that the owners, who made a point of fighting back against the protesters with confrontational signs and taunting, act like petulant toddlers in response? Yeah. But do I recognize their right to run a perfectly legal operation in this city? Yes, yes I do.

So what's next? MADD setting up shop outside of the Doug Fir Lounge in the hopes of driving them out of business? Christian conservatives forming a line at the front door of Mary's Club? Vegans taunting the McMenamins brothers at the Chapel Pub for selling hamburgers? Demonstrators of all kinds coming out the woodwork to stop Powell's from putting controversial books on their shelves?

What was the goal of the protesters that made a weekly habit of hanging around SW Morrison St? To make their voices heard? To express their concerns for the animals that went into making those coats? To encourage the owners to purchase their wares from more humane organizations? Or to bully them out of business completely? Based on what I saw over the weekend, it seems to be the later. I wonder how long that storefront will be empty once the Schumachers are gone.

Every time I feel like I'm getting too liberal for my own good, something like this happens. Portland has a way of making even someone like me feel like an arch conservative. Thanks, PDX!

Labels: anipals, controversy, Portland