Right now my car is covered in a one inch layer of ice and snow and the thermometer says it's 22 degrees out there. My street has nine inches of snow topped with ice and a few 18-inch tall snowdrifts. I'm literally snowbound and trapped but my employer still expected me to come to work this morning.

Pfffft.

Maybe if I had access to a flame thrower, a snow plow, two teams of sled dogs, Toyota-sized ice skates and a box of smoke bombs to ward off those armor-plated polar bears from The Golden Compass.

Ok, so this cell phone photo doesn't quite capture how nasty it is out there but, trust me, you'd be quacking, quaking and shaking in your moon boots if you had been facing an 11-mile commute this morning. Especially with only an aging Camry and a cup of Swiss Miss at your disposal.

Sadly, it looks like the winter wonderland is quickly giving way to a....FREEZING RAIN/SNOWPOCALYPSE! Eeeep! I was hoping for a legitimate snow day but it's not looking good right now.

Meanwhile, KGW claims there are skiers trying to make their way up to Mt. Hood right now. 60 MPH winds and blizzard conditions await them at Timberline. The Banfield is completely frozen over, the Steel Bridge is a Popsicle, I-5 is a mess, I-84 is closed and nobody's out there. My neighborhood is completely silent.

When did Portland change it's name to Wasilla, Alaska? I haven't seen a winter like this in Portland in at least five years, maybe even ten. I'm going back to bed. See you again come springtime.

"This hasn't happened in a century," says KGW's Brenda Braxton. Ok, it's bad but I'm at least 82 - 90% that's a complete overstatement.

Labels: snow