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Another Portland Blog

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Fun with relatives from a red state

Half of my family lives down south and, yeah, we differ in many, many ways on many, many different things. They like BBQ, I can't stand it. They live in a place where the sun comes out more than 45 days out of the year, I don't. They voted for GW in the last two presidential elections, I voted for Nader and....a dancing mule (I wasn't a Kerry fan and I knew he'd take Oregon without my support).

My red state relatives also love email forwards. This one landed in my mother's inbox and if you, like me, live in a place where people slap Globe Trotter-style Obama posters on every available surface, I think you'll enjoy it. By "enjoy it" I mean "become incredibly queasy and further convinced that the south is populated entirely by NASCAR-obsessed troglodytes."

Note: for the record, I'm pretty sure the south is *NOT* populated entirely by NASCAR-obsessed troglodytes.

Subject: According to Revelations -
Date: Mon, 2 Jun 2008 11:18:45 -0400

I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to repost this as many times as you can!

Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet...do it!

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine that America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves.

Pause a moment, reflect back.

These events are actual events from history..

They really happened!!!

Do you remember?

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40.

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

8. In 1988 , Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take down the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim male extremists between the of 17 and 40.

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by-- you guessed it-- Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

No, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people... Absolutely No Profiling!

They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids,airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

According to The Book of Revelations:

The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, he will destroy everything.

And Now: For the award winning Act of Stupidity Of all times the People of America want to elect, to the most Powerful position on the face of the Planet -- The Presidency of the United states of America ... A Muslim Male Extremist Between the ages of 17 and 40.

Have the American People completely lost their Minds, or just their Power of Reason ??? I'm sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the 'unknown' candidate Obama...

Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other stupid attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel ashamed of themselves -- if they have any such sense. As the writer of the award winning story 'Forrest Gump' so aptly put it, 'Stupid Is As Stupid Does'

So apparently the "Obama is a scary Muslim" rumor is still floating around the internet and, if my relatives are falling for it, that means that plenty of others down there are doing the same. Naturally, I felt the need to respond to this thing. Here's what I scribbled and passed along to my mother to send back to them:

Well, I guess it's a good thing that Obama isn't and has never been a Muslim between the ages of 17 and 40. To put it simply, everything about Obama in that email is hooey. He isn't even between the ages of 17 and 40. Not even close. He'll turn 47 in August. If you really believe all that, there's a bridge in New York I'd like to sell you. The "Obama is a Muslim" myth was roundly discredited at least six months ago. In case you missed it all...

Obama's father was raised Muslim but later abandoned the religion and became an atheist by the time he met Obama's mother. They divorced when Obama was two and Obama only met him once during a trip to Hawaii. His dad passed away when he was 21.

Obama's mother was also an agnostic but considered herself "spiritual." He spent a good portion of his childhood in various Catholic schools and did a brief stint in a predominantly Muslim school in the Philippines for around two years as a child. It was not officially a "Muslim school," as many have claimed, but many of the kids there were Muslims. Obama was basically raised as an agnostic, although there were multiple religious tomes around his household while he grew up. He became a born-again Christian in the mid-1980s and has practiced the religion for over 20 years.

If you have any further doubts or questions regarding Obama's religious beliefs, they can be found via the link below at Snopes, a popular and respected website devoted to debunking internet rumors. It roundly discredits and tears apart the Obama/Muslim rumors and cites sources and facts, unlike the baseless and incorrect rumors included in your forwarded email. I'm sure you'll find it an enjoyable and informative read:


Further information on Obama's background and biography can be found at Wikipedia:


In closing, not every Muslim on this planet is a radical extremist bent on the destruction of America anymore than every Christian is a domestic terrorist. Lee Harvey Oswald, the man who shot JFK, was a Christian. Timothy McVeigh, the gentleman who blew up that federal building in Oklahoma City, was also a Christian. John Wilkes Booth, the fellow who put a bullet in ol' Honest Abe Lincoln? Yup, you guessed it. A Christian.

I could delve into the Book of Revelations and pass along historical and religious critiques of it but this email is long enough. I'll give you this bit though: I just took a look at my study Bible and there's nothing in there about the Anti-Christ running around the planet dressed as a Muslim.

Still not a Muslim but I'd vote for him even if he was.

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