The season of South Park debuted on Wednesday and made an argument that the democratic process should be outright ignored when the candidates aren't up to snuff. A quick rundown on the premise: PETA invades South Park elementary and forces the administration to get rid of their mascot, a dairy cow. The students are allowed to come up with the replacements and Cartman decides to make a joke out of the election. He convinces everyone to nominate a "douche" and a "turd sandwich" as the candidates.

The election quickly becomes heated as the parents become involved. Eventually, Stan becomes so sick of the fervent campaigning of both sides, and the low caliber of the candidates, that he decides not to vote.

I guess I should start worrying when my own political ideologies start to reflect those of a 9-year old cartoon character. Call me a fool but last Monday I voted for a fictional animal instead of John Kerry or George W. Bush. Despite the fact that this is "The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes," I'm not only one I know that decided to throw their vote away. The brother of a friend serving overseas wrote in KITT from Knight Rider. Someone I went to college with threw away his ballot.

While I'm no fan of Bush, and despite bashing his administration at almost every avaiable opporunity on this blog, I'm not convinced John F. Kerry is the answer to this country's problems. Furthermore, months of enduring the snide, uber-passion of his supporters eventually wore me down to the point of switching from being a reluctant Kerry voter to an apathetic non-voter. At the Edwards rally last month, I was approached by a man that asked me, "Would you like to donate money to defeat Bush." When I shook my head, he snarled an insult and moved on to the next person on the street.

In some parts of this country, you will be mocked and despised for voting Kerry, others for voting for Bush. The fact that this election has so polarized the country to the point where I person's character is determined by who they're voting for is repulsive.

How can people be blind advocates of a candidate that has somehow managed to be even less inspiring than Al Gore? Until August, Kerry's campaign consisted almost entirely of mindlessly trumpeting his service in Vietnam. Part of the problem was that no matter who was selected as the Democratic candidate would have to cater to the nation's terrorism fears and couldn't take a bold stance on much of anything.

If Kerry wins tomorrow, the quagmire in Iraq will not disappear, the economy will not improve and Iran and Korea's pursuit of nuclear weapons will not cease. Some pundits are speculating that stocks will crash if Kerry wins. Furthermore, he has no plan for Iraq and, much like Bush, he seems to be rolling the dice that an election in January will somehow, magically, solve this on-going, 12-digit farce. If Iraq continues down this road, what are we going to do? Continue to drop billions over there? No matter how bad it gets, I don't think either candidate will pull out. My prediction is that if Kerry wins, he will be just as controversial and despised as his predecessor.

Using South Park's analogies, the douche is too wishy-washy and the turd sandwich is far too reckless. When your forced to choose between the lesser of two evils, you still find yourself picking an evil. This is why I'd sooner see a dancing mule in the White House than either one of these candidates.