And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout peace love & overweight cats stuck in doggy doors?
Plenty. Starting from the top, here's this week's slew of troubling local stories and random links:
A group of public safety employees beat a man and, wait, they weren't cops? It was a Portland fireman that kicked that guy three times in the stomach? Why, that's a fresh new twist on a continuing string of ugly PR disasters. Click here for the story and here for the video.The Dixie Mattress Company: would anyone care that its storefront looks like a gulag if it weren't for the obnoxious sign with the "Stars and Bars" flags? Well, this is SE Belmont we're talking about. That street is getting as chichi as Trendy-Third. At least it still has the Horse Brass and Movie Madness going for it. My opinion on the subject: the owners of the Dixie should probably wise up and cover up the flags. One person's sign of southern pride is another person's reminder of the ugliest chapter in American history. But if anyone has a problem with the actual bars over the windows, they can pay for their removal and maybe a few adorable flower boxes and a fresh coat of paint while they're at it. If you guys really want to "Keep Portland Weird," you've got to take the Dixie Mattress Company (bad, kinda) with the Baghdad Theater (good). "Support local businesses!"While I'm already courting hate email for touching on difficult-to-navigate race debates....Jack Bog: he's way too quick to ban and censor his commenters but...racist? For an awkward attempt to draw attention to shootings downtown? Puhleaze. Give the guy a break. Gentrificiation on MLK Blvd: sad but unfortunately inevitable. The Pearl District/ condo-ization/$300K+ for a bungalow fungus is going to eat this town alive. I'd better get over to Hannah Bea's for some poundcake before the owner gets priced out and the place is converted into yet another New Seasons.Can the dragon statue stay if they get rid of the chain? Better question: once it's removed, what is the city going to do with it?In other news, Extremo the Clown is selling his car. This much is obvious: while they may be bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy and, maybe, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, the allegedly "wonderful thing" about Tiggers is a godsend. It's probably for the best that's there's only one of them.Attention! Whoever keeps stealing Portland's ponies: knock it off. That is all.Disneyland's Space Mountain is now "Rockin' Space Mountain" (story link here, video link here). During a recent upgrade, the park added a Red Hot Chili Peppers soundtrack and additional lighting effects. While Space Mountain only turns into Rockin' Space Mountain after dark, the idea still sucks and those responsible should be forced to endlessly ride their bastardization of this classic theme park attraction until they realize their mistake and learn to leave well enough alone. At the very least, they could have gone with something "space-y" instead of the RHCP's cover of "Higher Ground." Take a lesson from your local planetarium, "Imagineers": this sort of thing works best with Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon."
Finally, if you're a morbidly obese feline with a head the size of a basketball AND you're fleeing from troubles at home, stay away from doogy doors. In fact, let this be a lesson to us all.