...will it make a sound? Probably. Will it hit anybody? Nope, because local authorities have it roped it off.

During last month's wind storm the United State's Largest Sitka spruce, located near Seaside on US 26, had a portion of its trunk torn away exposing its rotting innards. The "Klootchy Creek Giant" could fall any day now and loggers are already lining up to perform a mercy kiling, should this prove prophetic.

I stopped by on my way to the coast this weekend to pay my respects. From afar, the tree looked much same as when I stopped by a few years ago, much like Treebeard from The Two Towers but without the guilt-tripping or rock throwing. I've heard talk of efforts to save the ailing behemoth- that cement, epoxy or stuffing the rotting trunk full of wood could save it. Might I suggest duct tape or bungie cords? Any of you out there have any ideas?

Most of those hanging around had come to gawk but at least one person at Klootchy Creek was shedding tears. A hippie girl had to be consoled by her boyfriend as they stared up at the spruce. But who knows how many future generations of hippie girls will cry over the spruce's roots the next time it has a health scare like this? I've got five bucks on the tree. I think it'll pull through, one way or another. Break out the duct tape! This ol' bastard has plenty of life left in it.

Labels: Oregon, roadside_attractions