And I was so looking forward to hanging it on my refrigerator. Oh, well....

Labels: Indiana Jones, lawsuits, off-topic

I've been writing this blog for going on five years and I realized something today: I've never been threatened with legal action for anything I've posted here. That's a damn shame, isn't it?

That said, here's a link to Frank Darabont's leaked script for the fourth Indiana Jones movie, a copy of which may or may not be sitting on my server right now. The screenwriter/director wrote a draft in 2002 that Stephen Spielberg supposedly loved but was rejected by George Lucas. Supposedly, everyone who has dared plop a copy on the Internet has received a cease and desist letter from Paramount.

I spent the afternoon reading Darabont's 140-page final draft of Indiana Jones and the City of Gods and I have to say that it's heads and shoulders above what was released in theaters last month. The plot is very much the same but many of the annoying elements are gone. In this version, Mutt doesn't exist, Marion is given much more screen time and the alien-related final act isn't completely goofy and unwatchable. There's a fantastic aerial dogfight about half-way in and, after getting fired and branded a communist conspirator, a bitter, drunken Indy breaks into a campus museum to steal back the idol featured at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Sallah and Henry Jones Sr. also have cameos.

While overall better than the script Spielberg and crew eventually used, Darabont's dialog isn't so hot and the film's main villain isn't nearly as interesting as Cate Blanchett's weird physic/doctor/colonel/commie. The ending though? Kick-ass. At the very least, I'm sure it's better than whatever M. Night Shyamalan turned in.

If you're as geeky as me and have some time on your hands, I suggest having a look. Meanwhile, I'm putting my lawyer on speed dial.

Labels: Indiana Jones, lawsuits, off-topic

Shia LaBeouf: may he forever be dubbed "monkey boy" by angry geeks and overgrown children.

I can try to defend it all I want but let's face the facts: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sucks. Pure and simple. Nonetheless, people may be raving about it for a while. They did the same thing for the Star Wars prequels and they too received decent reviews from the critics (perhaps fearing hate mail from overly defensive fanboys). Given enough time, Indy IV's going to ragged on even more than The Phantom Menace.

Labels: Indiana Jones

Hey, look at what I won last week. A ceramic kangaroo!

Ok, no, it wasn't the kangaroo. Last Tuesday I went over to the Portland Mercury's office in NW to pick up this shiny, new Indiana Jones DVD set. Their film editor landed two promotional copies and decided to set up a contest for the extra one. The challenge: to defend Temple of Doom in 100 words or less. Seven people participated, I snagged the prize and all I had to do was exploit an unpleasant childhood anecdote. Will I link to anything related to the contest here? Nope. Why? Said unpleasant childhood anecdote is both hard to believe, although I only slightly embellished it, and fairly embarrassing.

But enough about that. I'm 26 hours away from seeing this Crystal Skull thing. I've been fooled three times by George Lucas productions in the last decade and I'm not about to get my hopes up for this one, even if Steven Spielberg is involved. The trailers look waaaaaaaaaaaaay too CGI-heavy and the casting of Shia "Transformers" LaBeouf isn't encouraging.

Plus, the record for Indiana Jones movies without a Christianity-related "MacGuffin" isn't so hot. Oh, well. At least Kate Capshaw isn't in this one.

Also: I feel the need to report that the Mercury's office has a startling number of cat portraits hanging on the wall behind the receptionist's desk and what I'm pretty sure is a pirate shrine in the waiting area. I didn't get a good look at it but, in hindsight, I wish I had snapped a cell phone photo.

Labels: Indiana Jones

This video of a would-be Indiana Jones being chased around the streets of San Francisco by a giant Lego boulder is pretty impressive. Five million Legos supposedly went into the construction of it. Five million! How much does something like that cost to build? Assuming that the average Lego sells for a nickel, $250,000. On the other hand, the guy in the video playing Sallah says it was more like a million. That would reduce the tab to a mere $50,000, not including the cost to fix that Previa's bumper.

Skepticism aside, if the filmmakers knocked off a Lego factory to film this I guess it makes the end result all the more awesome.

Labels: Indiana Jones

This could be the best thing McSweeney's has ever published, in my honest opinion.

Labels: Indiana Jones