Sometime in the '90s, my then 13 year-old sister Shanna convinced my parents to let her adopt a kitten. He was a "tuxedo kitty." I'm sure you've seen the type before. Black all over with the exception of a large, white spot across his chest and stomach. Add a red collar and they're ready to go for a night on the town.
Having just seen a touring Broadway production of
Cats at the Civic Auditorium, she insisted on naming the kitten "Magical Mr. Mistoffolees." While completely lovable, he never quite managed to live up to his namesake. Instead of being adept at magic and card tricks, his primary skills were limited to jumping on the kitchen counter, gorging himself on Science Diet and making weird, gurgling noises. Within a year, Magical Mr. Mistoffolees weighed over 15 pounds and only Shanna could pronounce his name properly.
ME, CIRCA 1996: "Shanna, Magic Mr. Miserdorfer..."
SHANNA: "MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFOLEES!"
ME: "Yeah, Mystical Senor Magefeline...."
SHANNA: "MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFOLEES!"
ME: "Whatever his name is, he just puked on the bean bag chair. Again."
Why do I bring this up? Well, if only to awkwardly point out that the only people in this country that are psychologically capable of enjoying Cats are women, or males of a certain persuasion, between the ages of 6 and 14 or over the age of 45. For everyone else it's an endurance test. During the intermission at the Keller on Tuesday night, I overheard no less than four different matriarchs contending with a husband or a son that desperately wanted to flee the building.
Is it that bad? Not really, if you're willing to overlook the fact that Cats doesn't really have a describable plotline, has a synthesizer soundtrack heavily cemented in the early '80s and consists entirely of castmembers dressed up as feline versions of David Bowie circa 1972 jumping all over the place. Also: the set is cool and when Mister Mistoffolees rolls out for his number he sends streamers shooting out into the crowd.
Streamers! Just like at a Blazer game! Very exciting!
Cats is playing at the Keller through Sunday, March 28th. Tickets and further info can be found over here.
Labels: theater
