The Portland Opera recently sent out emails to local bloggers with little knowledge of their wing of the live theater community. After admitting that I hadn't been to an opera since a friend's mother played in the chorus of a Carmina Burana production in the mid-90s, I accepted their invite to live-blog tonight's performance of Rigoletto. I'm dragging my sister Shanna along and we'll be joined by all of these fine, upstanding new media-types this evening at the company's first ever Blogger Night @ The Opera. The show starts at 7:30 but we'll all be blogging in the lobby beforehand.

I'm not sure what to expect, having never really been to an opera, let alone reported from one live. I assume that various opera aficionados will come up to us in the lobby and the ensuing conversations with the crowd will go something like this:

OPERA AFICIONADO: [dressed in a tuxedo, a top hat and a monocle] You're all blog-errs? I do hope that you realize that if you continue to engage in such a peculiar and foul activity that hair will grow upon your palms and you will all soon become quite nearsighted.

ME: [dressed in jeans and a t-shirt] That's OK. I've been blogging for years. These aren't problems that an electric shaver and a pair of contact lenses can't keep at bay.

OPERA AFICIONADO'S YOUNG DAUGHTER: [tugging on her father's coattails] I want a blogger. Buy me a blogger, Father.

OPERA AFICIONADO: Oh, all right.

YOUNG DAUGHTER: [pointing at Shanna] I want the girl one in the Threadless t-shirt with the unicorn on it!

OPERA AFICIONADO: [to an usher] How much for the female one that won't stop chugging lager?

SHANNA: I'm not a blogger. I'm just here for the beer.

USHER: I'm afraid the bloggers are not for sale.

YOUNG DAUGHTER: [she bursts into tears before breaking into a song and dance routine from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory] I want the works! I want the whole works! Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises! Of all shapes and sizes! And now! Don't care how! I want it now!

Opera patrons all behave like 19th century blue bloods and Veruca Salt, right?

Well, if I'm wrong I'll soon be corrected. Willful ignorance? Naive presumptions? It's probably going to be a rough night for you two....