It's a Wonderful Life taught us all what happens every time a bell rings and A Colbert Christmas revealed what occurs when a bell drops. But what happens every time a Scratch-It addict buys one of these $2.00 Wonderful Life tickets and doesn't win jack squat? My best guess is that an angel rolls his eyes disdainfully.

If the mere existence of these Scratch-Its don't permanently tarnish a beloved holiday classic this NYT editorial from last week should do the trick. An excerpt:

Take the extended sequence in which George Bailey (James Stewart), having repeatedly tried and failed to escape Bedford Falls, N.Y., sees what it would be like had he never been born. The bucolic small town is replaced by a smoky, nightclub-filled, boogie-woogie-driven haven for showgirls and gamblers, who spill raucously out into the crowded sidewalks on Christmas Eve. It’s been renamed Pottersville, after the villainous Mr. Potter, Lionel Barrymore’s scheming financier.

Here’s the thing about Pottersville that struck me when I was 15: It looks like much more fun than stultifying Bedford Falls — the women are hot, the music swings, and the fun times go on all night. If anything, Pottersville captures just the type of excitement George had long been seeking.

And what about that banking issue? When he returns to the "real" Bedford Falls, George is saved by his friends, who open their wallets to cover an $8,000 shortfall at his savings and loan brought about when the evil Mr. Potter snatched a deposit mislaid by George's idiot uncle, Billy (Thomas Mitchell).

But isn’t George still liable for the missing funds, even if he has made restitution? I mean, if someone robs a bank, and then gives the money back, that person still robbed the bank, right?

I checked my theory with Frank J. Clark, the district attorney for Erie County upstate, where, as far as I can tell, the fictional Bedford Falls is set. He thought it over, and then agreed: George would still face prosecution and possible prison time.

"In terms of the theft, sure, you take the money and put it back, you still committed the larceny," he said. "By giving the money back, you have mitigated in large measure what the sentence might be, but you are still technically guilty of the offense."

He took this a bit further: "If you steal over $3,000, it's a D felony; 2 ½ to 7 years is the maximum term for that. The least you can get is probation. You know Jimmy Stewart, though, he had that hangdog face. He'd be a tough guy to send to jail."

Sheesh.

Labels: Vices, Xmas