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Another Portland Blog

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

 

Another year bites the dust and I still don't know what to call this decade. The '00s? The Zips?

What's a word or phrase that best describes 2008? Rotten? Unpleasantly unpleasant? Turbulent? I guess I'll go with that last one.

But things are looking up, right? Portland is running again after enduring the seemingly endless onslaught of SNOWPOCALYPSE. Sure, complete and utter economic collapse may be imminent but at least we're only a few short weeks away from getting a president in the White House that journalists will hold off on throwing shoes at for at least a little while. Oh, and then there's the Blazers. Wasn't last night glorious? I think every fan in town will happily bury forever that old "beat LA" chant in favor LaMarcus' 20-point triumph over Kevin Garnett. A good replacement? "Kobe bites!" Simple. Direct. And straight to the point, no?

What are bloggers supposed to write about this time of year? Oh, right. Things that "aren't invited back" to next year. Here's my list:


1. Snowfall exceeding six inches that sticks around for two weeks.

2. City snowplows that shove two feet of snow into my driveway after I spend hours clearing it.

3. Snow chains that snap and wrap around car axles. I can't count on my fingers and toes how many people I saw desperately fighting with weak chains while hunched over in greasy, sand-sprinkled slush last week.

4.



Sled dogs on NW 23rd.

5. The horrible grinding sound the underside of my car makes when I drive over ice-covered snow rivets.

6. Holiday plans and activities that are rescheduled, rescheduled again and then rescheduled again before being finally canceled due to inclement weather.

7. Coworkers that proudly boast that they didn't miss a single day of work during the entirety of SNOWPOCALPYSE (because they live three blocks from my office and/or own a tank-sized truck capable of both scaling the Himalayas and not only surviving a Yeti attack but beating several contenders to become King of All Yetis).

8.


Fred Meyers' Dr. Suess knock-off "Holiday-Whats" ads. Were they worse than watching Jim Carrey run around in a Grinch outfit? Yes.


So that's all I've got for now. I'll be back next week with more of the same. A few blog-related resolutions for 2009? To get everything moved over to a new server and finally fix the URL redirect problem. Also: less incoherent holiday videos staring robotic novelty chickens.

Until then, happy new year everyone and to all a....drunken good night?


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