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Another Portland Blog

Saturday, June 07, 2008

 

Live from the parade route - 9:48 AM

Ok, it's roughly ten minutes until the parade gets underway but there's no telling how long it will take to reach where we're sitting. Some highlights from the past hour:




  • I guess we're all breaking the law. I was "cited" by a homeless advocate about an hour ago for violating the city's "sit/lie ordinance." A quote from the back: "Everyone needs sleep. It is a medically proven fact that you will die without it."


  • The exchange student has been hit by frisbees and Nerf footballs way more times than I have. Nonetheless, she still has an expensive-looking mini-laptop sitting on the pavement.


  • Another preacher is wandering around handing out gigantic, folded hundred dollar bill pamphlets to anyone who will take them, including kids. You can imagine what's printed on the back. One gem: "Have you ever told a lie? Even what you might call a 'white' one? [NOTE: The rest of this paragraph was mysteriously lost while live blogging on Saturday. It was added back in from a saved draft on Tuesday.] Then you won't be allowed to enter the Kingdom of God." This is a real quote from this strange pamphlet. I seriously wish I was joking but I ain't. Honest. I also don't quite understand how Ben Franklin or the 100 dollar bill work into the whole theme of who is and who isn't getting into Heaven. I sat through all seven episodes of HBO's John Adams miniseries and let me tell you something about Franklin: no saint. I'm pretty sure he spent at least 40% of his time in France sitting in bathtubs while engaged in erotic chess games with random members of the aristocracy (one of many great Franklin scenes from the series). My best guess is that the writer of this religious pamphlet isn't an HBO subscriber or a Paul Giamatti fan.


  • OK, I've got coffee to drink, a scone to eat and I have a million not-so witty remarks to mutter. From the parade route, over and out.

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