April 2011

Another blog. About Portland. And other stuff too.

about | archives | twitter | flickr | potma | iphone snapshots | facebook | yelp
rss feed | youtube | links | the burning log


Questions? Comments? Reservations?
anotherportlandblog[at]gmail[dot]com

Another Portland Blog

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

 

Fail!

Well, here it is. My doughnut of shame.




Most people wouldn't attempt to eat a very large doughnut in under 80 seconds after consuming several enchiladas, a considerable amount of refried beans, a basket of nachos, a few margaritas and another doughnut covered in M & Ms. But, as we all know, I'm not most people. Most people possess things like common sense and a rationale desire to avoid making themselves puke on random surfaces like, say, hipsters.

I took the "Tex-ass Challenge" at Voodoo Doughnut on Cinco de Mayo and failed more spectacularly than anyone else who has ever undertaken it, I'm sure. The challenge requires a participant to consume a glazed doughnut the size of five glazed doughnuts in under 80 seconds. Those who succeed probably come down with "the dia-beet-us," as Wilford Brimley would put it but, on the other hand, they don't have to shell out four bucks for the doughnut. 47 hours later, I still have yet to finish the damn thing. The half I couldn't manage to stuff down my throat is still siting in a paper bag in my refrigerator.

To get a better idea of how big these things are, click here.

I still say I deserve some sort of prize for even attempting such a Herculean task, given the contents of my stomach at the time. While I managed to avoid regurgitating a full Mexican meal and lots of deep fried dough all over the person working behind the counter that night, I woke up the next morning feeling like I was 20-months pregnant with hippo quintuplets.

So now the bar is set. I'm scratching "graduate from medical school" off my bucket list. One evening, it could be tomorrow, it could be three decades from now, I will return to Voodoo Doughnut and successfully consume one of those very large glazed baked goods in under 80-seconds. It may take years of training and years off my life. I may have to gain 200 pounds or lose 70 (the winners of eating contestants always seem to weigh, like, 90 pounds) but this is something I've got to do for reasons I can't quite explain.

Oh. Right. Stupidity. That's it, good old fashioned American stupidity. I think I should make this my new "five year plan."

Also...




Is it wrong of me to think "Wow, Brimley's only 73?" after reading his Wikipedia page? It seems like he's been over 70 since whenever Cocoon came out.

Labels: , , ,


Comments: Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]



Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home


SEARCH THIS BLOG? SURE, NO PROBLEMO, AS BART SIMPSON USED TO SAY....





www.flickr.com




-archives-

  • October 2003
  • November 2003
  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011

  • Clicky Web Analytics


    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?