Last month, a few friends and I decided not to attend a microbrew festival at the Oregon Garden after running into a twenty minute wait at the entrance. Inspired by this, we instead decided to stage an impromptu wine beer tasting back at their place. We grabbed around twelve different beers from all over the world at a nearby market ranging from a Budweiser energy drink to a few oversized bottles from Bavaria.

Much like a proper wine tasting, we took notes and tried to gross each other out with vivid descriptions of the lesser brews. Amazingly enough, the Budweiser wasn't the worst thing we picked up. That honor would go to a strange peach beer from Holland, which I'm pretty sure I described as tasting like "the diarrhea-covered ass crack of a goat the night after it raided a farmers market." If the brewers of that particular beer come across this, I'm perfectly willing to allow them to use this short review in their marketing.

By the end of the night, we had a large bowl full of leftovers in the center of the table. Why leftovers? Well, you're not technically supposed to swallow the stuff during a tasting, not that didn't stop us in most cases, but some of the selections were nah-ass-tay. Also: I had to drive back to Portland that night and was trying to be at least somewhat responsible.

After all the bottles were empty, two of us decided to give the mix in the bowl a shot. Surprisingly, it was better than the peach brew. I gave that a one. The bowl mix? A three. Unsurprisingly, a good amount of what was in that bowl wound up on the table.

Labels: beer