Outlaws is the perfect place for Santa. Cowboys love a drunk. Even more, they love profane drunken holiday icons. And lucky for Santa, the third floor is a strip club.

But there were no strippers. Santa remedied that. Three lady Santas took to the pole and began to do a pretty good job of twirling and shedding their clothes — maybe too good of a job, because a large security guy got on stage and removed the topless Santas so a "real" stripper could perform. Surprisingly, the Santas were better dancers.

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I was in the Virginia Cafe around 11 and, amazingly, one Santa was still going strong in what had to be his 12th straight hour of drinking. A tip of the hat to you, good sir.