All the links and news for you to peruse that you probably can't use:

First off, if running around Portland while drunk in a Santa Claus suit with likeminded others is your idea of a good time, you're in the luck. The mayhem beings Saturday at noon at Skidmore Fountain. Further info can be found by clicking here.

What could go on to become McMenamins' first debacle is set to open its doors on Tuesday the 12th. The Chapel Pub will be housed in a former mortuary on North Killingsworth. A wonderful use of an historic building or the worst example of crass gentrification imaginable? You be the judge. I won't be surprised if the Chapel Pub receives the same sort of welcoming as another restaurant over on NE Alberta. A few weeks ago the place was damaged by vandals who sprayed "gentrification - this way" near the front door. Good luck, guys. Further discussion about the pub's opening can be found over at Metroblogging Portland.

Looking for the perfect Xmas gift for the megalomaniacal supervillain in your life? This submarine is a steal at $2 million. The original price? Twice that.

Click here for the top ten Biblical verses that are rarely mentioned in church. My favorite? Number four.

If the real Mary Poppins movie were more like this maybe I wouldn't have slept through it as a child.

Only in Vancouver?

The proposal to revamp West Burnside and divert traffic on NW Couch could be a disaster but, if it comes together, at least it will look pretty.

Click here for a rundown on the ten most bizarre people on Earth. Included are a man that spent two years eating an airplane and another that discovered, after an operation, that the swollen stomach he was born with contained the remains of his mutated twin brother (!!!).

The current football team over at Jesuit High School could be the best in the history of the OSAA. Really?

Some users have already found a way to get around the banner ads on Portland's new Wi-Fi network. Neat.

And finally click here for the commercial that introduced Ronald McDonald to the world. I actually prefer this version to the current "xtreme" sports incarnation of the clown. I wish I had a magic tray/belt that could make burgers appear out of nowhere.