Every year, local radio station K103 switches to an all Christmas format between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. Between songs, the staff runs bumper station IDs wistfully describing what makes the season so magical in the Northwest. One run ad-nauseam is completely Portland-centric and goes a little something like this:

"It's the Christmas ships floating down the Willamette,
it's the lights on Peacock Lane,
it's the chill in the air in Waterfront Park,
that's Christmas in the Northwest"

I'm not sure who spends a lot time in Waterfront Park this time of year but I don't think K103 has quite captured what it's like to celebrate the holidays in Portland. Here's my revised version...

It's the Christmas ships that look like tiny little dots if you're not standing down on the marina or over near OMSI...

It's the still open supermarket on Christmas afternoon....

It's the Santa window displays at the downtown Macy's...

...and the realization that the creepy Siberian Santa could totally kick Russian Santa's butt...

It's going to the Festival of Lights, even though you're not Catholic, standing around trying to feel all spiritual before heading over to the petting zoo to feed that one sheep that jumps over all the other sheep and will steal food right out of your hands...

It's getting trapped in a traffic jam in a parking garage at Lloyd Center on the 23rd...

It's the unintentionally pornographic Abominable Snowman display on Peacock Lane (sorry, you'll have to take my word for it or head over there to see it for yourself)...

Ok, so I'm terrible at writing radio bumper ads. Happy Xmas, everybody.