While the chances of it rattling any pillars are slim, I did slap together a Christmas compilation last week. I tracked down 100 songs and whittled them down to two hours worth of material, filling two CDS. Some of the highlights:

Run DMC: "Christmas in Hollis."

'80s-era Xmas commercials for Fruity Pebbles, Oreo cookies, the NES and Chicken McNuggets.

The Ramones: "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight)."

Speedy Gonzalez: "The Sombrero I Got For Christmas Is Too Big."

Canned Heat/Alvin and the Chipmunks: "Christmas Boogie."

Bob Rivers: "Santa Claus Is Foolin' Around" (a great parody of that grating Bruce Springsteen song that litters the FM dial this time of year).

Johnny Cash: "Blue Christmas."

Weird Al Yankovic: "Christmas at Ground Zero."

Tom Waits: "Silent Night."

The Smurfs: "Christmas With the Smurfs."

Another thousand ideas are springing to mind. I wonder, are these discs weird/annoying enough? Do they each pack enough obscure novelty songs and '80s kitsch to sufficiently irritate my folks as we trek out to Peacock Lane on Christmas Eve? If I'm driving, we will NOT be tuning in to K-103 to listen to Amy Grant and Kenny G, dammit. Or that Starbucks Xmas compilation!

I wonder what typing "Mr. T" and "Christmas" into Soulseek would have turned up. He cut a few albums in the early '80s. If he did a Mother's Day song, I'm sure he slapped together a Christmas one at some point. I guess there's always time to whip together a volume 3 by Sunday.