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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
It's morning again in America
Rumsfeld is gone. Bush is talking about getting "thumped." The Democrats will soon control both the House and the Senate. Rick Santorum's kids spent last night crying their eyes out on national television. Even Rush Limbaugh is backing away from the dying embers of the current incarnation of the GOP. And here locally teenage girls can still get abortions without having to listen to their parents bitch and moan.
And so an ugly chapter in America's history is slowly drawing to a close...or not. The Democrats won't be able to get us out of Iraq and will never have the guts to impeach Cheney and Bush for their assorted misdeeds. And, sure, in another two years the Republicans will make a comeback after blaming the Dems for not magically solving the Iraq quagmire. But, hey, it's been a long time since many of us have heard what we would call good news come rolling out of the District. This is no time for cynicism.
So I buzzed down Broadway last night expecting to find Democrats pouring out of Kulongoski's victory party at the Benson Hotel. Marching through the streets singing "Ding! Dong! The witch is dead!" Gridlocked traffic. People dancing on hoods. Someone blasting Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." A scene worthy of the ending to an early '80s sports comedy. Something like the last 30 seconds of Caddyshack when Rodney Dangerfiled shouts, "EVERBYODY'S GONNA GET LAID!"
Except that, if he were still kickin', Rodney would probably shout, "EVERYBODY'S GONNA GET THEIR CIVIL LIBERTIES BACK! AND MAYBE A FEW STEM CELLS ON THE SIDE! AND GAY MARRIAGES! AND LEGALIZED POT IF WE HAVE TIME!"
But there was none of that going down around 10:30 PM on the streets of "Little Beirut." It looked like any other Tuesday night downtown. All I spotted outside of the Benson was an elderly couple flagging down a cab. On the other hand, it would be almost another 24 hours before anyone could muster up the courage to report that the Senate had swung left. And it was a weeknight.
Still, that didn't stop a Republican colleague of mine from living it up until the wee hours in DC, despite the fact his party had been officially "thumped." A lesson to be learned from him: when you're hanging out with a liberal crowd, don't start an argument over whether or not waterboarding counts as torture. They may call you on it. In his defense, he did manage to hold his breath for an impressive 90 seconds when put to the test. As I understand it though, they didn't actually pour water on his face during the whole thing.
Anyway, after six years of misguided military invasions, trashed civil liberties, corruption of every imaginable kind and the loss of a major US city, isn't reclaiming the House enough to cause a little dancing in the streets? I knew I should have taken my fireworks down there, especially since no one else was apparently willing to fire off a mortar in front of Saxton's party at the Hilton up the street.
In other news, the Blazers won against the Lakers tonight. There really is no stop to the wave of good news. Tomorrow I expect dogs and cats will sign a peace treaty while everyone in the world joins hands to sing Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World." Or something by Jewel. Or this:
OK, maybe not that last one. Still, that could very well be the greatest music video in the history of universe.