Ok, one last Halloween post to cover all of the material I never got around to sticking up here. Once this is out of the way, this here blog will return to its regularly scheduled slew of rambling anecdotes and random You Tube links...that have nothing to do with pagan holidays.
I wasted around an hour a week ago trying to uncover all of the fifty hidden horror movie titles in this strange promotion for M&Ms. Many of them are obvious. The Hills Have Eyes, Silence of the Lambs, etc. But what's the deal with the Grim Reaper and the fence? Or the guys with the map?Where were all the trick-or-treaters this year? I was stuck at work instead of sitting at home handing out Baby Ruths so I doubt anyone stopped by my place. My parents, on the other hand, lit up their pumpkins before dark and decked out their house in Halloween stuff. Their doorbell didn't ring, not even once. They live on a busy street but this would mark the first Halloween in twenty years that no one has shown up on their doorstep. On my way in to work yesterday I didn't spot any smashed pumpkin or a single tree covered in toilet paper. What the frig?
So where were they all? Amy Jennings over at the Portland Mercury asked the same question in a post yesterday. Her place received a grand total of three. Betsy over at Metroblogging Portland has also seen a decline in recent years. So was it the cold weather this year? All those child rapist stories that clog the local news these days? Has trick or treating's time come and gone? Where have Portland's costumed freeloaders wandered off to?
Oh, they all went over to this gal's house. That night Marilyn Manson showed up on The Tonight Show to perform "This is Halloween" from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. I've heard a lot of bad music in my time but this one ranks right up there with Robin Williams' cover of "Come Together" and Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time." Late Night was a repeat of the episode where Conan and his crew were all replaced by skeleton puppets. I'd never seen it but I guess it originally aired back in 2004. That bit where the stripper skeleton looses her head as she slides down the pole was...interesting. The puppeteers kept going without skipping a beat. Every year my workplace holds a contest. The team that can up with the best decorative scheme scores a wad of cash to blow on pizza. No one on my team was too enthusiastic and I made the mistake of suggesting a Peanuts theme. I guess that's why I was volunteered to crank out something.
Feel free to make fun of my LInus. His pupils are waaaaay too big. More than one coworker said that he looked like he was "tripping."
I thought Kang and Kodos turned out OK though. The joke here is that they've crash landed in the wrong Halloween special. Funny? Apparently not. I was asked what was up with the aliens a few hundred times. Not a lot of Simpsons fans in my line of work.
Snoopy was probably the best looking of this mangy lot. But as I warned everyone before hand, "I'm only capable of producing Tiajuana-bootleg level Peanuts." And that I did. Sorry, Mr. Schultz.
We lost, needless to say. The top prize went to a group that turned their workspace into the Addams' Family house. Other notable mentions: the group that turned theirs into a clown graveyard and another that went with a Blair Witch theme. I took the long way home from work through downtown. I spotted three guys dressed up as Santa Clause on 2nd Avenue. Huh, Santa Con must have come early this year.Radio show host and master of the macabre Art Bell did a special "Ghost to Ghost" show on Halloween night. I sent a "fast blast" about that night at the White Eagle to the studio via his website. I was surprised when my phone rang at 1 AM. One of his screeners called and wanted to stick me on the air. Unfortunately, my house sits low on a hill and cell reception down there can be downright craptacular at times. That night the phone decided to produce an annoying hum in the background. I tried walking around the house and even outside but couldn't get it to stop. My cell signal apparently wasn't up to par for national radio so the screener bid me adieu and moved on to the next listener in line.
Curse you, Cingular! Because of your crappy coverage I wasn't able to tell a few thousand insomniacs and conspiracy theorists about the night a ghost attacked me with its butt.