Mission? Accomplished. I found my old adversary.

On Tuesday the 15th, my traveling companion and I came across him blocking traffic on the highway leading from Lake Yellowstone to the Canyon Lodge. He was all by his lonesome, much like a similarly callous brute I encountered a few years ago on this same stretch of highway. He seemed to be enjoying the mess he had just created. If you look closely at these photos you may spot a smirk on a mug so ugly only Bev Doolittle could love it.

I have no way of telling if this is the same bisson that declared war on me a few summer back but I flipped him the bird just in case. In return, he went to the bathroom in the middle of the highway, much to the delight and simultaneous disgust of a few dozen tourists. He has 2,219,799 acres to use as a toilet and he chose to hang out on the highway while dropping a load. Can you believe the nerve of this North American, oxlike ruminant?

When these tourists made a foolhardy attempt to pet him, I figured we were about to witness a brief battle to death. Park rangers advise travelers to come no closer than 25 yards from Yellowstone's bison population. As it was, they were cruising for a goring. Instead, the cruel beast made haste to the side of the road. He may be mean but he's not stupid. Around these parts, mangled tourists earn bison like him a one way ticket to a hamburger patty. There's no way he could beat a trip to the slaughterhouse with these many witnesses around.

So mission accomplished. Maybe. Until we meet again, you miserable, furry bastard.