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Another Portland Blog

Friday, July 07, 2006

 

Dispatches from the north coast

As previously mentioned, I spent the better part of this week roaming the 101. Here are some scattered notes....


  • Isn't there something inherently wrong with a town who's namesake is a cannon banning fireworks? Authorities at Cannon Beach once again prohibited fireworks on their stretch of the northern Oregon coastline. Now that I think of it, how can they possibly have the authority to do so? Doesn't the city's limits end at sand's edge? I've always assumed that Oregon's coastline was considered public land and controlled by the state. Regardless, police officers patrolled the beach on the Fourth of July and even had plains clothed lookouts posted in various areas. One sitting on a bench near Tolovana Park helped bust up a family at a nearby campfire. Their crimes? Shooting off perfectly legal-in-Oregon fireworks.


  • I watched Cannon Beach's finest crack down on about three different campsites and confiscate the wares of a dozen or so celebrants of all ages. Spotted in town earlier in the day was a car with "you can take our fireworks but you can't take our FREEDOM!" written on the hood. But as William Wallace learned the hard way, "they" can take you freedom too if thee mood strikes.




  • After asking the 80-year old proprietor of a golf course in Gearhart for advice on where to eat dinner, should you actually take his advice? Especially when he points you to a nearby Chinese restaurant instead of a local seafood shack?


  • The only thing still legal on Cannon Beach's actual beach were sparklers so we made the most of it. I set up my camera to take 4-second exposures as we wrote various words in the air. A colleague pulled off a pretty impressive "USA"....




    ....but my own attempt to write "boob" failed miserably.


  • Even with a stunt kite, knocking an Ewok doll off the top of a sandcastle is impossible


  • Here's the scenario: we brought a bungload of chocolate-chip cookie dough with us. After numerous attempts and adjustments of cooking time and temperature, these would-be tasty treats turned out flat, burnt and inedible. Strangely enough, they looked perfectly fine in the oven. After being removed, they literally deflated and turned into dried-out husks. What the bloody hell could we have done wrong?


  • If the forecast says it will be 67 and sunny at the coast that means it will be 57 and rainy.




  • Lady Liberty. Barefoot. Possibly pregnant.


  • Mad Magazine is still publishing? And they have ads now?


  • What's the best way to deal with a 7-year old that has stolen your sand shovel while you were off eating lunch? $$#$!@! brat.


  • I haven't been to many mini-golf courses but this is the coolest hole I've ever seen at one. It's located in Seaside near the bumper cars.




  • Ewoks, left unattended on a beach and to their own devices will inevitably pull naughty pranks on one another. Furry little perverts, they be. Yarrr.

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