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Another Portland Blog

Thursday, June 29, 2006

 

Free million dollar idea

Far back in this blog's history, I started a recurring series of posts called "Free Million Dollar Ideas." Of course, I only came up with two and promptly forgot about the whole thing. That's not to say that I don't come with the occasional amazing idea that would be sure to net the right person a million or more bucks, just that I don't think to write them down. Sure, they're completely ridiculous (the two I've posted here consist of Viking funerals for the wealthy and a syndicated comic strip called "Chairman Meow") but in this crazy, mixed-up country with massive amounts of disposable income floating around, they're sure to "make bank."

But today while reading an article about Rockstar Games most recent slew legal troubles and later watching John Stewart's take on Congressional hearings on the industry, it hit me. A Grand Theft Auto spin-off from the perspective of a police officer would sell like hot cakes and/or Slurpees in the Sahara. A title like this would be sure to convince parental groups and senators that would rather harp about immoral video games than do anything worthwhile to lay off the controversial development company.

From an outsiders perspective, this would be a good-hearted game that lays waste to rampant nihilism and criminal melees that have served as centerpieces for the series so far. Players would start out at a police academy and work their way up to beat cop. From there they could on "missions" to bust thugs or, much like the "do anything" gameplay of past games, pull over speeders, eat doughnuts, go to the shooting range, etc.




Sure, this sounds bland but, much like those Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic games, players would be able to play it straight and work their way up to police chief or, become a corrupt cop and...work their way up to police chief.

Really, the possibilities for fun and Rockstar's patented brand of subversive social commentary are endless. Players could opt to "clean up the town" or become the most viciously corrupt law enforcer imaginable. Going down that second path could lead players to form ties with the mafia, redistribute drugs from the evidence room, free criminals from jail, scare off good cops, solicit sex from underlings via email (thanks, Dan!), get slapped with sexual harassment suits and/or form their own criminal empire right from their office in police headquarters. If the moral majority starts to harp, the makers at Rockstar only need to point to the "good cop" option, which would also allow players to crack down on their corrupt superiors and fellow officers.

I guess there could also be a pizza delivery boy side-quest ala San Andreas and a cute, little barbershop mode where players could modify their character's crewcut.

I'm telling you, this is a million dollar idea. This can't fail. In fact, get me Rockstar's phone number. I want to pitch this myself. The only thing left to decide is what to name the game...

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