I just spent over an hour editing the Portland Monthly parody list and writing a brilliant, breathtaking intro for it.

My Mac froze up on me moments before I hit "publish" in Blogger. Of course, this was one of the rare times I neglected to hit "save as draft" while writing.

Anyone who professes undying devotion to this brand of computer deserves a kick in the teeth. If "think different" is your personal mantra, you deserve two kicks in the teeth.

$#@#!@! you, Steve Jobs. I'm going to bed.