Thoughts that jumped into my head while sitting in the balcony and watching Neil Young: Heart of Gold at the Cinema 21 on Sunday night
"I'm the only person in this theater under the age of 50. Naw, wait. There's a hipster teenager who's brought a date with him. Damn, now I'm the one feeling old."
"So this movie was directed by the same guy responsible for the phenomenal concert film 'Silence of the Lambs.'"
"OK, Neil. You survived a brain aneurism, your father succumbed to dementia, you've confronted your own mortality and you've come to the realization that all things in this life are fleeting. Now will you please can the ten minute long song about an old cabin and play 'Down By the River'?"
"Emmylou Harris is 57? Overlooking the silver hair, she looks all of 30. And here I was thinking she was like Storm from the X-Men, young but prematurely grey. She must sleep in a Botox chamber."
"So you own one of Hank Williams' guitars and you're not an incredibly rich billionaire that would hang something like this in a back bedroom with a hundred old dusty guitars previously owned by musical geniuses. Hey, that's great. You brought it with you tonight to play some songs of your new album but not "Down By the River"? WTF?"
"We all love you, Neil, but the "intimate" three-minute-long extreme close-up shots of your mutton chops were, maybe, a bad idea. Didn't you talk to Demme about this before the concert?"
Ok, Neil. It's the encore and you're rushing through all your old standards. You've covered 'Heart of Gold,' 'Needle and the Damage Done,' and...'Old King.' Wait, 'Old King,' that lame track from Harvest Gold about the dog that fell off your truck?!! Where the bloody hell is 'Down By the River'?!!!
"'Is there a guitarist in the house,'? What if all your grunge rock buddies saw you throwing out a lame line like that?"
"Years ago you bought a ranch and went with the caretaker to a nearby lake. At one point he asked you how you could afford such a place in your early 20s. The conversation was the inspiration for 'Old Man.' Hmmmm....I have nothing snarky to say about this. That's a good bit of trivia."
"Ok, the show is over. You've recorded your 'I'm gonna die someday/'Time Out of Mind' album. For your next tour/concert film, would you please put on your flannel shirt, break out your Fender and play....
....'Cinnamon Girl'? Or something off Rust Never Sleeps? C'mon, all this adult contemporary nonsense is a bummer, man."