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Monday, December 12, 2005
What Would Steve Irwin Do? (or) The Most Disgusting Blog Post You'll Read All Day
An opportunity like this one doesn't come along every day:
"I picked up a kangaroo scrotum on accident. They have kangaroo scrotum bottle openers so if you want one, send 30 bucks and I'll get one for you."
Colleague "AD," who is currently on holiday in Australia, made this offer to no one in particular via a recent My Space post. I'm seriously thinking of taking her up on the offer. Before you become overwhelmd with disgust and vow never to read this blog again, consider the animal parts that went into making the shoes on your feet and the contents of your lunch.
While $30 is a bit much, it would make one hell of a conversation piece. My house is slowly becoming a Ripley's museum and the kangaroo bottle opener could compliment the tourist map of Iraq, communist cigarette case, Richard M. Nixon LIbrary mousepad, French kitten lighter, bootleg Bart Simpson doll from Russia. Japanese Xmas candy, stuffed Mogwai and the untold amounts of other weird nicknacks I've got lying around here.
Or the bottle opener might make a great Xmas gift for my mom. I haven't decided.
And there's the nagging concious to consider. While kangaroos are supposedly considered the equivalent of cows Down Under, I don't know if I my aching liberal Portland heart could handle living with a bottle opener made out of Roo's boy parts. If the local PETA contingency found out about it, I might wind up with a hundred protestors camped out on my lawn.
On the other hand, by the time I actually make a decision AD will likely be back in the states. What say you all? Should I wire her 30 bucks?
And speaking of Roo and the rest of the Hundred Acre Wood gang, prepare to have a little more of your childhood destroyed before you click here.