I went to the last screening of "Jarhead" at the Lloyd Cinemas on Saturday. I learned a valuable lesson that night: watching war movies with a veteran experiencing flashbacks is a lot of fun.

Actually, no it isn't. Among other things, it's scary and irritating. I have no idea if the guy talking back to the screen was a traumatized vet, high on crack, or starring in a sketch for an upcoming "Jackass"-spinoff. Here's a rundown on what happened. I'll let you decide but, be forewarned, there's spoilers below. And for the sake of clarity, from here on out he'll be referred to as "Max Cady," after the movie-ruining sociopath Robert DeNiro portrayed in "Cape Fear."

Throughout the movie Max could be heard mumbling at the screen during quiet moments. As main character Anthony Swofford and his unit roll finally into Kuwait, he began arguing with a couple sitting behind him. As they fled for the exits, Max shouted, "you've got mouths like a WHALE!"

In another scene, Swofford asks a colleague what he's going to do once he gets out of the service. "I don't know, I'll sell crack," he responds. Max immediately started laughing loudly. It was the sort of over-exerted guffaw usually reserved for a late-night talk show host doing his best to appease a high-profile guest despite their unfunny anecdotes.

Towards the end of the film when Swofford pins the cross-hairs of his rifle on an Iraqi general, Max began chanting "take it, take it, take it." He continued throughout the rest of the scene, well after the character had put the gun away.

And, finally, as Swofford and his platoon broodingly celebrate the end of the war and the futility of their involvement by firing their guns in the air, Max stood and turned to the audience. 'Fuck this war," he announced. "I've got a BOMB!" Then he sat back down. Despite the fact the level of his distractions had risen from "annnoying" to "death threat," a few people chuckled and we all continued to watch the movie. No one, myself included, bothered to alert the security guard roaming the halls. Why? As for myself, I assumed Max was harmless and I didn't want to miss the last ten minutes. Once the credits rolled though, I bolted out of there.

As for the film itself, the reviews have been mixed but those who criticize it for being "boring" or "shallow" have completely missed the point. While the ad campaign may paint "Jarhead" as another "Platoon" or "Apocalypse Now," this isn't a full-fledged war movie. It's two hours of soldiers slowly buckling under the weight of extreme heat, boredom, stress, their destroyed personal lives and a dire lack of alcohol. "Jarhead" isn't a film that future Marines are going to cheer ala a scene in the first act but one that may keep them from signing up in the first place. And it has a trippy sequence in a burning oil field.

I read the book and, while the film adaptation leaves out a lot, I think it remains true to the source material. While "Jarhead" may not have earned the approval of the vet/crackhead/performance artist sitting up front, I'd have to say I dug it.

Still, maybe I should have seen "Saw II" instead

posted by Brandon  # 10:07 PM