I caught the first episode of the new "Daily Show" spin-off, "The Colbert Report" last night. As I watched, I scribbled some thoughts down on an old Popeye's napkin. Here they are for your reading enjoyment:

I wish I had a desk shaped like the letter C with an HDTV embedded in the front and my name stamped on the side. That would swell but I'd happily trade the plasma screen for a bar that rises and falls from the desk with the push of a button.

If Comedy Central is willing to spend several fistfuls of dollars on electronic message boards at the bottom of the stage, shouldn't the writers think of something better to stick on them than the title of the show? Sure, they can't be seen during the majority of the program but they do pop up as it goes to and returns from commercial. Hard-to-catch gags on the boards could inspire a fansite that might one day pop up on "Boing Boing" and result in an AP article. Not that I'm thinking of starting one or anything.

Is there really a need for "The Colbert Report"? Didn't John Stewart say everything that needs to be said about rapid-fire political talk shows during his still legendary appearance on "Crossfire"? It has a a one joke premise and the endless gags about "truth instead of facts" and zealot patriot satire are liable to get as stale as any given episode of "American Dad"...

...unless the show can continue to draw guests like Stone Phillips. He seemed genuinely annoyed with Colbert's jokes about his neck but, for some reason, stayed long enough to engage in a "gravitas battle." Colbert's tongue-in-check, confrontational interview style is a welcome change over Stewart's now routine brown-nosing. The nightly interview segment has become a complete drag on "The Daily Show," even more so when Stewart interviews a celebrity and fake-laughs at their every lame quip. Sure, Stewart still gets in some tiffs, such as the one during his recent interview with Senator Rick Santorum, but they're still too gosh darn civil....and, yeah, this is suppposed to be about "The Colbert Report," not "The Daily Show" so I'll stop now.

What would the love child of the Statue of Liberty and Chewbacca look like?

Even if it is a one-joke show, it's still better than "Too Late With Adam Corolla."