Click here for part 1 of the saga.

So the Titanic firework did its thing and filled a good portion of Arch Cape with smoke. A good time was had by all but there was one little problem. A spark from one of the internal explosives had ignited the frame itself. Through its paper mache windows we could see tiny flames engulfing the lower decks.

Arch Cape had allowed us a sanctuary from Cannon Beach's militant, anti-fireworks patrols. We weren't about to return the favor by trashing the beach with this tiny, nautical effigy. On the other hand, there's no way we could toss this thing in the trunk, let alone in the trash can up in the parking lot.

There was only one thing to do: SINK THE TITANIC!

AGAIN!

Unwilling to run the risk of setting myself aflame, I convinced Shanna to do it. Sucker. Click here to watch an epic recreation of the tragic events of April 14th, 1912 or on the photo below.

We didn't let it sail off into "infamy." I tried to get Shanna to fetch the boat. She refused, tossed out two words beginning with the letters "f" and "y" and headed for the car. Now I could have let it float off to the Philippines (or more likely Garibaldi) but I ran after it. What can I say? I was still feeling bad about not recycling a chocolate milk jug earlier in the day. Plus, all these years later, I'm still suffering the after-effects of being brainwashed by my eco-conscious "LA Arts" teacher.

Thanks a lot, Miss Day. Because of you I got my jeans wet.

The soggy vessel was properly disposed of a few minutes later but I didn't recycle it. That soggy bastard was tossed in the trash.