Spotted on a bumpersticker in Beaverton:

There are very few problems in this world that cannot be solved with the suitable application of HIGH EXPLOSIVES!

Fairly Honest Don's Machine Gun Parlor. Hillsboro, OR. 640-0750.

Maybe I should give them a call. My yard is slowly being overtaken by an army of dandelions and Morning Glory. For a moderate sum maybe they'll come over and go nuts Jesse Ventura-in-Predator-style on all these %$@#@!! weeds.