I can't go to this tonight since I'm stuck at work, dammit. Here's the obscenity-filled rundown, courtesy of the Mercury:

The Dude Goes Bowling

If I could only take one film with me to a desert island, it'd probably...not be The Big Lebowski, as much as I love it. Were I exiled to a bowling alley, however? Well, then there'd be no question: In that instance, yes, I would instantly choose The Big Lebowski.

Why? Because it 1) Is fucking hilarious, 2) Is about bowling, 3) Stars Jeff Bridges as "The Dude," possibly the coolest character/role model that cinema has ever created, and 4) Is even more fucking hilarious than noted above. So you can imagine how stoked I am about The Dude Goes Bowling, an "evening of Lebowski fun" that features bowling, music from the Dutch 200s, plenty of White Russians, other bowlers dressed up in bathrobes, and, doubtlessly, a shit-ton of quoting from the flick. ("Shut the fuck up, Donny!") In other words, it'll probably be the coolest night of bowling ever, and it'll all be themed around one of the coolest movies ever, and if that ain't a perfect combination, I don't know what is. ERIK HENRIKSEN

AMF Pro 300, 3031 SE Powell, Tues July 26, 8 pm, $8 (includes shoe rental, two hours of bowling, and music)