I'm sitting in my cubicle right now, killing the last few minutes of my shift with a copy of The Oregonian's annual Rose Festival Guide. Somehow it managed to fall behind my Smurfit Recycling box last week and I just noticed it back there.

The guide offers a two-page rundown on the various floats and "favorites" in this Saturday's Grand Floral Parade. Five entrants stand out among the various high school marching bands and rodeo queens:

A Church of Scientology float

An Anhesuer-Busch float

A Spirit Mountain Casino float

A Portland General Electric float

A convertible filled with waving Trail Blazers

Celebrations of beer, gambling, thugs, Scientology and corporate malaise in the middle of Portland's most wholesome annual event. It's enough to make me wish I could get up that early on a Saturday morning to take in all the wholesome, dreamlike surrealism.