"Scanner Land" is a brief feature that appeared in last week's edition of InPortland. Since it isn't available online, it has been reproduced here for your enjoyment.

Police scanner highlights:

Two downtown Hilton employees called 911 at 9:45 PM on May 19 after seeing a thin man in his early 20s walk by the hotel with a dog slung over his shoulder. The hotel workers reported that the guy was threatening to kill the dog, which had a rope around its neck, and eat it. When police arrived the man denied the allegations, saying that his pit bull was sometimes hard to handle when it caught sight of appetizing people food.

A few minutes before 5 PM on a recent Monday, a MAX rider exited at the Goose Hollow stop, then called 911. He told dispatchers that he heard a man on the train reveal that he had stolen a monkey from the zoo and was carrying a gun. The caller had seen neither the monkey nor a gun on the man. Nevertheless, the search was on. Fifteen minutes later, police called off the search, satisfied that there was no missing monkey.

An owl was reported in the middle of the road at NE 122nd Avenue and Airport Way a few minutes after midnight on a recent Saturday, causing cars to swerve around it. No mention of a Harry Potter sighting.