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Monday, March 28, 2005
The Birth of the Mickican
Dog breeders have been mixing different strains of canine for centuries. Their efforts have brought us everything from Chihuahuas to Great Danes but what would happen if one of these maniacal matchmakers mated a Ren with a Marmaduke? The results would be catastrophic. This terrible new variety of pooch would no doubt be capable of conquering America and parts of Canada. Mixing radically different breeds of dogs is obviously a terrible idea but what about radically different breeds of beer?
I was destined to find out when I decided to make a Black & Tan out of Corona and Guinness. The idea originally came to me waaaay back on St. Patrick's Day but I didn't immediately act on it.
One reason for the delay was that I needed a proper "lab." I picked the porch at Portland's very own Goose Hollow Inn. "The Goose" is the historic tavern at corner of SW 18th and Jefferson. Aside from serving as a launching pad for Bud Clark's mayoral career, it was also one of the first businesses in the country to start selling Henry's Private Reserve. What better place to play beer god?
On Friday night I asked the barkeep for a pint glass, a bottle of Corona, a 12-ounce Guinness and a spoon. This pint glass was to serve as the home of the world's first "Mickican."
Things didn't go as smoothly as planned. First off, I couldn't remember how to spell the name of this revolutionary new brew. I consulted with my colleagues and we decided on "Mick-zi-can." After they collaborated on a sign to mark the occasion, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.
I poured the Corona in the pint glass. So far, so good but next step would prove to be the trickiest. Without access to a Guinness tap, getting the "black" on top of the "tan" was going to be difficult if not impossible. I slowly began pouring the Guinness over the spoon and, as I probably should have expected, a good portion of it wound up on the table.
Sure I had spilled beer all over the place but no matter. There was Guinness in the glass and, even better, it was kinda-sorta floating on top of the Corona. SUCCESS!
Don't you wish you had been there to watch history being made? Dry those teary eyes and click here for a Windows media clip of this landmark event, brought to you by the good folk(s) at cupofnoodles.net.
But how did it taste? I took the first sip and was pleasantly surprised. The Corona all but extinguished the Guinness' nasty aftertaste. I passed it on. What did everyone else think? Click here to find out.
Sure, they seem indifferent but they were half-drunk at the time. Had they been stone-cold sober, they would have been raving about its cool, refreshing taste, I assure you. Have a look.
Doesn't that look even more thirst quenching than Coca Cola, Pepsi and Dr. Pepper combined? Of course it does.
Now Rome, Ohio wasn't built in a day and it could take a good long while for Mickicans to become the most commonly ordered concoction in America's hooch establishments. The Mickican's fate is in your hands. The next time you're in a bar, request one. There's no telling how the bartender will react but, hey, no one said this would be easy. After you pick yourself up off the floor and explain "No, good sir and/or madam, I'm requesting a Mickican not a Mexican, the drink that combines the best of two historic beers and crosses the boundaries of the Atlantic and political correctness in a single pint glass (TM)" you'll both have a good laugh. Better yet, YOU'LL BE MAKING HISTORY.
Now hop to it. I've got "Mickican" both trademarked and patented and I can't start suing places until they start sticking the damn thing on their menus.