WARNING: Avast, thar' be foul language and culturally-sensitive material ahead. ARRR!

"You know what's kind of funny though? Some kids can't say 'Good morning,' but damn near all of them can ask if I have a big dick.

Y'see, Japan's an island no bigger than California, where everything is filtered. There are so few foreigners here, their only impressions of things outside of Japan comes from the media. And to be honest, they don't really give a damn about anything other than America. So yeah, try to imagine a country where the perceptions of you are created by your movies, music, and MTV. And when you stop crying and shaking at the sheer horror of that thought, I'll be here waiting.

So anyway, I get asked 'bigu dikku.' A LOT. Every 2-3 days in fact, which is amazing considering I got asked this question about 2-3 times *in my entire life* in America. Locker room jokes aside. How do you answer that anyway? To a 12-15 year old? I wave them off and say 'No no no.' Then they say 'Oh, sumaru dikku?' (trans. 'Small dick?') and OF COURSE that's wrong so I have to correct them. It's just a no-win stiuation."

Shanna passed along this link to a blog written by "Azreal," an American teaching English in Kyoto. His stories are fairly disturbing and hilarious but not as fairly disturbing and hilarious as a certain, long-lost blog with the intials "TB." Or this. Azreal's site is bare bones but the writing makes up for the lack of flare.

Also: On a completely unrelated topic, would you like now the next Batman movie ends (maybe)? Of course you do. Click here.