- I've been hitting the Goose Hollow every Friday night for the past few weeks. Without fail, the same group of people is always parked around one of the tables. Their ringleader appears to be a huge guy that always dressed in a kilt, rain jacket and golfer's hat. A few of them look like Bud Clark impersonators and sometimes they bring along a pug. There's also a mysterious, ZZ-Top guy in sunglasses that's always wearing a bright yellow Columbia sportswear jacket. I think they're all apart of some sort of illuminati, cult and/or mafia ring.

- The Reuben sandwich at the Goose has never killed a man. Give it time.

- The unwritten rules and decorum surrounding karaoke must take a lifetime to learn and master. This much I've discerned. Under no circumstances is it ever appropriate for a guy to sing "Papa Don't Preach."

- "Smart Park" is neither a "park" nor is it "smart."

- Paying to leave your vehicle at a Park and Ride completely defeats the purpose.

- A male stripper dancing in a renovated Denny's to the tune of "Welcome to the Jungle" to help bring a smile to the face of a lesbian celebrating a birthday as a crowd of women and elderly Asian men take pictures truly is a sight to behold.

- "Hart to Hart" is a television series that aired in the '80s and stared Robert Wagner as a globe-trotting adventurer/CEO.

- Howard Hughes? Crazy.

- If you absolutely have to wash a pair of black Converse tennis shoes, don't add bleach.

- Why don't the Pachinko machines at Dragonfish work?

- No matter how aerodynamic you make them, no matter how carefully you paid attention during the "The Aviator," a dollar bill airplane will never fly safely from your table to the stage at Mary's Club. It will either hit the floor or someone in the back of the head.

- Boggle is hard.

- Pear cider tastes like death.

- "Goldfinger" is a perfect song for mixing.

- Russian advertisements are neat.

- The Hungry Tiger is always crowded.

- Voodoo Doughnut is always sold out of bacon-covered maple squares.