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Thursday, February 17, 2005
Here's to you, Milk Chan
Who lives in a condo in the future? Super! Milk! Chan!
Who confounds her tiny audience and can be found on Adult Swim after midnight on Sundays? Super! Milk! Chan!
If you were to toss the Powerpuff Girls into a blender with the likes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and pour the resulting glop through a charcoal filter, the result would be Super Milk Chan. This strange little import, which found its way onto Cartoon Network last fall, centers around a perpetually-drooling toddler/super hero with quick fire temper. With her roommates, a water cooler robot, a mechanical dog and a green slug, she works for "the president of everything," an overdemanding commander in chief with a penchant for dancing in the nude. Unlike average super heroes, Milk Chan and her friends are incapable of saving the world and rarely complete their missions. Instead, they toss non-sequiturs at one another as Milk Chan launches a barrage of obscenities and insults, among them her catchphrase: "YOU DUMBASS!"
SMC holds the same sort of disregard for its audience as the most esoteric episodes of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. The annoyingly catchy theme song ("EI! EI! EI! DABO! DABO! DABO!") alone is enough to send most scrambling for their remotes. Milk Chan's adventures typically delve into complete nonsense seconds after the credits stop rolling. Every few minutes the show cuts away to shot of an overseas park or bowling alley as an off-screen narrator reads poetry comprised of gibberish. In one episode, actors provide sound effects over the action, distracting from Chan's quest to track down a mistress/Hello Kitty clone. In another, the president calls Milk Chan and begs to stop a missile he's accidentally fired at himself. They spend 30 minutes locked in a rambling argument before it finally destroys his office.
All things considered, SMC is either the best or the worst show to ever air on television anywhere in the world. Feel free to decide for yourself. SMC can found every Sunday night/Monday morning on Cartoon Network at 1 AM and 4 AM. The unedited, original episodes are available on DVD.