I'm sure local tv affiliates jumped all over Tuesday night's Mardi Gras melee but the Oregonian has (so far) devoted all but three paragraphs to it. PPD arrested 44 people in downtown Portland for partying 10-25% over the legal hardy limit. 27 minors made a trip to the Hopper Detox Center and one driver for was hauled in for slamming into the back of a squad car.

Q: And where was I during all of this?

A. Work.

B. Work.

C. Roseburg.

D. Work.

I'll give you hint. It's not C.

Adulthood sucks.