I live near Lewis and Clark College, overlooking one of the streets that leads from Portland to Lake Oswego. Boones Ferry is frequented by all sorts of high-priced vehicles but one on Monday morning caught my eye. I was heading to work as a bright yellow H2 slowly drifted towards Riverdale High School. In the front seat was a driver in a grey suit, tie, sunglasses, cap and even white gloves.

I didn't notice if it turned into Riverdale's parking lot. Nevertheless, there's a good chance that in the backseat was a teenager being chauffeured to class in a friggin' Hummer.

...

I don't know what to say about this so I'm going to mangle a Dead Kennedy's lyric instead:

"And I thought, so this is Oregon, huh? [Liberal, perpetually bicycling, Cliff Bar munching] Oregon?"