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Friday, December 17, 2004
Letters to Chevy
On Wednesday night, Chevy Chase went on a potty-mouthed tirade against the president while hosting a charity event at the Kennedy Center. He lambasted Bush with comments like "he's a dumbfuck" and lamented that the democrats couldn't "beat him with a bore like Kerry."
The Drudge Report, Fox News and conservative columnist from around the country spent their Thursday morning raking him across the coals but perhaps what's most shocking about Chase's statements is their lack of wit. "Dumb fuck"? Weak. Even if he was improvising on the spot, he should have come up with something, well, funny. After all, isn't this the guy that *made* the institution that is Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update?
So, with no where else to turn, where did conservatives from across the nation head to vent their frustrations online?
My poor, widdle Chevy Chase website.
Currently, I host one of the last remaining Chevy fansites on the internet. It's the only site listed in Yahoo's category for the actor and it's the most recently update (June, which should speak volumes about Chase's career as of late). After a tip from Armed Prophet, I checked the site's neglected Hotmail account and message board and found them both jam packed with angry emails from Vietnam Vets, Marines serving overseas and a slew of GW lovin' midwesterners. In their coverage of Chevy's tirade, even Volokh Conspiracy linked to the site.
So would you like to see a few of them? Of course you would. Here are four of my favorite, all verbatim, so for once you can't blame me for all the errors:
Your stupid Christmas movie used to be a staple of our family at Christmas. We would watch it every Christmas and just laugh and laugh. No more. Your amature attacks on our popularly elected President and Commander in Chief during a time of World war against Islamic extremists who would gladly give their lives to blow up you and your extended family, given the chance, have proved to me you are simply a moronic asshole. By the way, do you have an MBA degree? Your Christmas movie VHS went out in the trash today. Hopefully your career will follow. Merry Christmas Dirtbag."
-Sent by "A Former Fan"
"Fuck chevy chase, he is an ass...He has no right talking shit about the President. I'd like to kick chevy ass"
-Sent by "G"
"Chevy Chase is the biggest asshole that ever lived. LOL He's a @#%$! loser, but I LOVE what he did. It only rallies the Republicans to get out and VOTE. Liberal outbursts are GREAT for Republicans. Keep up the good work and civil disobedience. It's the only thing that gets good Americans angry enough to VOTE.This was almost as great as the Republicans picking New York City for their convention. Where else would they get so many liberal jerks engaging in civil disobedience in front of all those cameras? THAT was great political strategy. It personally made me run out and vote Republican. Thanks again!"
-Sent by "Joe Conservative"
"What a Geek to call the president names and show us all what lack of respect he has for America. A Marine's girl serving in Iraq wants to tell Chase to go to Iraq and say that! Tell the old man to blank ... blank... blank....! You think being ugly crude is totally cool? We think you are a treasonous and also a Neo communist!"
-Sent by "Pretty, Proud USA"
OK, that's probably enough for one day.