We were sitting near the window in Kelly's Olympian when they started throwing punches. In one corner, a man that looked like Rasheed Wallace but was dressed like a hipster. In the other, a kid in a black jacket. A colleague jumped into the fray as the two struggled to slam the each other's heads into the side of a Tri-Met bus. After receiving a punch to the chest, he joined the rest of us from the safety of the doorway, having fulfilled his obligation to play peacemaker.

Rather than call PPD or to break up the fight, we gawked from the sidelines. As one caught his breath, the other bounced around with his fists raised, waiting for round two. Denim Jacket Guy eventually fired back against these taunts with a bull charge that sent the two of them belly-flopping towards the pavement.

Further adding to the weirdness? According to QA, Anton Newcombe of the Bryan Jonestown Massacre was sitting at the bar during all of this. Sadly, he did not break up the fight with the awesome power of his right foot. Instead, a bus driver magically ended the hostilities by shouting for help into a walkie-talkie.

Afterwards, one headed up Washington. The other lingered at the scene and asked me for a cigarette before casually heading back inside, All things considered, the last Portland street fight I sat out was much better.