Oh hey, it's Dizmo, Welcome to Blog's official mascot. And what's that he's got there? Why, it's HEMP WAFFLES!

Yes, a product called "Lifestream Hemp Plus Toaster Waffles" actually exists. I found a pack of these at the Market of Choice in Burlingame. The package proudly boasts that they contain no eggs or dairy products and includes a quick rundown on the history of hemp seeds:

"Hemp seeds are now used in a wide variety of foods due to their nutritional content and rich, nutty taste."

A rich, nutty taste is all well and good but the real question on everyone's minds is: do these things get you high? And the obvious answer...

Nope. Regardless, a product like hemp waffles contains a weird allure, the vague sense that they should be illegal in every state but Nevada. Keeping them in the freezer made me feel like I was getting away with something. I still get the same mild rush every time I take a six pack up to a grocery store counter.

So how are the waffles? Despite lacking what should be necessary ingredients in a not-at-all-goood-for-you breakfast treat, they're pretty decent. They somehow taste exactly like Ego whole-grain waffles but with the addition of tiny flavorless seeds that easily get stuck between teeth.

Enjoy them with your next bowl...

...of Kellog's Frosted Flakes. As Tony the Tiger is overeager to remind everyone, "They're GRRRReat!"