...presidential debate/forum/whatever begins....

NOW!

No, wait, hold on....

...now.

To prepare, I've spent the better part of the afternoon sipping Pina Coladas and sitting in a hammock. Watch CNN's coverage? No way. Flip through the New York Times or the AP? *yawn* Read what Wonkette has to say? Bah! October is fast approaching and nice days in Oregon are becoming few and far between.

If Kerry comes strolling out with his face looking more fluorescent than a UCLA sorority girl's, he's sunk. This could very well be the first election in US history to be determined by a few bottles of "Fake and Bake." Word on Fox News is that he spent a portion of the afternoon getting a manicure.

A manicure?! So much for trying to toughen up his image and ridding himself of the wussy, flip-floper label. As O'Reily pointed out, the first thing everyone is going to look at his hands. Maybe it's all an attempt to divert attention from the after-effects of Suntan in a Can.

25 minutes to showtime...