For obvious reasons I can't remember the first time Mt. St. Helens blew its top. Now that the still active volcano is once again being hit with a familiar rumbling in its tummy, I can't wait. A natural disaster that I can safely watch, live, from the vantage of Council Crest? If ever there was an excuse to call in sick from work, this would be it.

Unfortunately, my longings for nihilistic voyeurism are unlikely to come to fruition any time soon. Despite the hundreds of small-scale earthquakes that have been rattling St. Helens in the past week, the chances of another big-scale explosion to rival its infamous conniption fit in 1980 is small. At this point, scientists are unable to determine if the recent activity is related to steam explosion from recent rains or a sign that the gods are indeed angry and on the prowl for Tom Hanks or, more likely, virgins.

The next angry mountain I come across will be the next time TNT airs Dante's Peak. I guess I could build one of those science project Play-Doh volcanos but it's just not the same, you know?