USA Today, Gallup's and Time? Yawn. If you really want to know the winner of the presidential election a month early you have to pay attention to the sales for Halloween masks. The poll, organized by buycostumes.com, was reportedly based on the sales number for five different companies over the years. Have a look:

The winners have sold the most masks in every election since 1980. So how are Bush and Kerry's masks doing? Drumroll...

"Sales stats as of 9/25/04:

BUSH: 56%
KERRY: 44%"

Maybe that Gallup poll that made headlines last weekend wasn't so far off. Sheesh, a 12% lead! But, come on, isn't the mask for GW a wee bit more flattering? Kerry's is hideous and looks like the sort of thing that would strapped to the head of an extra in a Troma film. And what part does the Dean mask play in all of this?

I smell a conspiracy.

Given this site's namesake, I'm pretty much required to post this:

Yeah, that's supposed to be Laura and isn't that thing 15 times more frightening than those old Freddy Krueger masks? Really, it's the stuff of nightmares.