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Monday, July 19, 2004
I want a chicken pot pie tattoo
Here is a quick rundown on the people I encountered over the weekend.
- American 20-somethings bum around Europe but what do young Europeans bum around? I didn't know the answer until I met one of Olly's friends on Friday night. The answer? They bum around the US. Apparently, Amtrak offers the American-equivalent of Euro passes.
- On Friday night, a woman tried to sneak a baby into Holocene. It's a nightclub on the eastside filled with tea lights. The two were turned away at the door. As we were leaving, she was lingering by one of the windows and slow dancing with the kid. Inside, some sort of Kraftwerk tribute band was playing. He looked confused. Thanks go out to Autumn. The baby totally made the trip worth it.
- On Saturday I met a baker covered in tattoos. On his left leg there was a full-color pot pie with a Buck Roger's ray gun looming over it. The gun's blasts had caused a screaming chicken to be "born" out of the pie like a chick emerging from an egg. I wanted to ask him if this was his own idea or if he saw the sketch on a wall in a tattoo parlor. I also wanted to take a picture of it. I didn't have the courage to do either.
He and another baker talked about staying up all night since they had to be at work at 4:30 AM. This made we wonder: has every donut I've ever consumed been baked by drunk insomniacs? JJ has more on all this over at his blog.
- Another fella', a cook, had recently been involved in a kitchen fire, during which his right arm was badly scorched. Earlier that day, his gauze cast had been removed. The arm, from the elbow to the wrist, was bright red and looked sort of like a pork chop. 'Twas gnarly, 'twas.
- At the same place there was a local actor that looked a lot like Walter Peck, the evil EPA officer that tries to bankrupt the Ghostbusters. He is one of five actors currently competing to become Oregon's Captain Morgan. If he lands the gig, he'll do bar promos around the state and hand out rum in a $2,000 Captain Hook-style costume. Along with him will be a gaggle of "Morganettes," all dressed in skimpy pirate outfits. One of the first promos will supposedly involve a 40-foot yacht covered in Captain Morgan banners that will set sail down the Willamette. Yes, this is the coolest job ever. Even Duffman would be jealous.
He did his Captain Morgan impresonation and, being the bastard that I am, I criticized it. He presented a straight Pirates of the Caribbean brogue but Morgan is more a suave pirate- not the sort of buccaneer that drops "arrrr, maties." The actor looked at me like I was insane. I probably deserved this. Nevertheless, he spent the next few minutes practicing various accents.