A giant green ogre with a trillion dollars worth of advertising backing him up?

Not funny.

Scary-looking computer animation that makes every character look like a hellspawn Barbie doll?

Kinda funny but not really.

An endless string of incredibly lame and obvious movie parodies that even Mad TV would balk at?

Not at all funny.

Mike Meyers?

Never been funny, never will be funny.

Eddie Murphy singing "Livin' La Vida Loca"?

The exact opposite of funny. The Anti-Funny.

Even the cat was lame.

So why is everyone so infatuated with Shrek 2? The movie is an incredibly weak parody of the already incredibly weak Meet the Parents. I can understand the Wal-Mart crowd going bonkers over this tripe but that doesn't excuse the critics from pouring their accolades all over it.

But the movie does answer this question: What would Shrek look like if he was magically transformed into a human?

The answer? Arvydas Sabonis. Exactly like Arvydas Sabonis.

On a more warm and fuzzy note, this comes out today. Yippie!