I don't dislike Jim Francesconi because of his wishy-washy stance on gay marriage. Or that he's running the most expensive campaign PDX mayoral history. Or the controversies surrounding his campaign contributions, his vote against the anti-Iraq war resolution and his questionable use of downtown law firm. Or that he spent $70K on campaign materials printed out of state. Or his ties to the Portland Business Alliance.

I don't like Francesconi because he looks like Frankenstein.

Hey, if you're looking for thoughtful pollitical commentary, you should be over at the Portland Communique, not here. The Frankenstein/Francesconi connection was further confirmed by a political pamphlet I received in the mail last week. Let's take a look, shall we?

"Grrr! Me am Francesconi! Me like girl. Me have picture of me staring at girl's breasts in mailer! Growl!"

All you need to do is draw a straight line from his eyes to that lady's bosom. Am I reading too much into this? Look at the lewd smirk. I can't believe someone on his campaign staff actually thought this pic would help rake in votes.

"Grrrr! Me am Francesconi! Me talk issues with everyday people like you. Me wave hands to convey important point!"

All in all, this is an atypical political pic. The candidate is talking with "normal people" about various, obviously important issues. All and all, it's pretty bland. But take a look at the guy in the green shirt. He seems to be thinking "Good God, could this guy get anymore pompous?" Either that or he has to take a gigantic dump. Again, couldn't they have done better?

"Rawrarararar! Me am Francesconi! Me am down with the kids. Me wear blue jeans and sweatshirt! Me listens to rock and/or roll music and play with magic bouncy ball, just like you!"

OK, first off, the picture suggest that Francesconi likes to hang around the local YMCA and play b-ball with youngsters. Overlooking the obvious, cheap Goldschmidt comparisons who goes to the gym in jeans? And, really, what's with the creepy expression? Jim looks like he's about to take a bite out of that kid's neck. Supporting public schools is one of his platforms but this pic seems to indicate he rather eat children than help them get an education.

Well, that was fun. If you haven't already, get out there and vote in the primaries. There's still time. Ballots are due by May 18th. Vote for Potter! Vote for Busse! Shucks, vote for the clown if you have to. Just don't vote for Frankenste...er, Francesconi.