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Friday, May 07, 2004
Calls from beyond the realm of reality
My "career" grants my coworkers and I access to some of Portland's most unique denizens. The first came from a guy convinced that his three televisions are filled with demonic snakes. Even when they're turned off, these chatty critters whisper his name...for no apparent reason. George Bush is also involved in this conspiracy and the man said he was going to report the company, the snakes and GW to the FCC. Those snakes had better start looking for a lawyer. I wonder if he'll lend them his copy of the Yellow Pages.
The second one went a little something like this:
ME: How can I help you?
CUSTOMER: What would happen if you got in a rocketship and just started heading through space?
ME: (thinking this was an analogy of somehow relating to our service) Uh, I don't know. If you believe certain theories that we may be living in a circular universe, you would end up back where you started.
CUSTOMER: Naw, if you kept going, like through the middle of Jupiter. Really flying straight through space.
ME: Uh, I guess you would keep going forever.
CUSTOMER: OK, thanks a lot, man. Bye.
I really should start recording these. These audio clips would make great sound bites for a space rock album. Maybe that's what this guy was up to. Maybe his album will be called Dark Side of the Customer Service Industry.
Speaking of space rock, Queen Autumn recently returned for the Coachella music fest with footage of Beck's booty. She posted it on her blog and it can't be found here.