I should have outgrown Goodwill scrounging back in college. I can now proudly boast that I have enough urine-scented furniture and ironic concert t-shirts to last me a lifetime. Nevertheless, my insatiable appetite for cheap n' cheesy LPs keeps me coming back. During a recent trip to the location downtown, I found this:

Now I'll be honest. The only other song I've heard by Ernie is "Sixteen Tons." I imagine that most of his music is along those lines: bleak, baritone country songs. For a mere $2, how could I pass up a chance to hear someone with a voice deeper than Johnny Cash sing "Aloha Oe"?

Was the LP worth 8 quarters? Eh, hmmm, sure. It's 45-minutes of a man who sounds like Principle Skinner singing Hawaiian standards. At the very least, I've now filled the vacant Polynesian/western slot in my collection. I'm sure the regulars at that honky-tonk in the Blues Brothers would approve. Anyway, the real find was this:

That's right, an Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom collector's glass. If you blur your eyes just right, it looks like a Lilliputian archaeologist is trying to slice his way through the weeds in my backyard. The glass set me back a dollar. There was also a mysterious, almost translucent brown spot at the bottom covered in dust.

I've washed it five times and, while the spot and the accompanying aura of death is long gone, I'm still afraid to drink out of it. This thing could make me immortal...or turn me into a Nazi skeleton. I'm not willing to take that chance. It does make a nice conversation piece though.